HR = High Risk

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing anything about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying, My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

Man:- 365 days and sometimes 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove tha t14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holidays)?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

HR = HIGH RISK

Middle Aged Women Should Stay At Home

The Making of A Mother

By the time the Lord made mothers, He was into the sixth day working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered and said, "Have you read the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not elastic; have 200 movable parts, all replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up; have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart; and have six pairs of hands."  

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No way!" said the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!" 

"And that's on the standard model?" the Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head.  They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The Angel tried to stop the Lord "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower." 

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?" asked the Angel. 

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like You have a leak with this model. I told You that You were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." the Lord objected.  "That's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked. 

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.."  

The Angel was impressed.  "You are a genius, Lord.  You thought of everything for this one.  You even created the tear!"

The Lord looked at the Angel and smiled and said, "I'm afraid you are wrong again.  I created the woman, but she created the tear!"

When God Created Fathers

When the good Lord was creating Fathers, he started with a tall frame.

A female angel nearby said, "What kind of a Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put the Father up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without stooping"

 

God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"

 

And when God made a Father's hands, they were large. The angel shook her head and said, "Large hands can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails, or even remove splinters caused from baseball bats."

 

Again God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets, yet small enough to cup a child's face in them."

 

Then God molded long slim legs and broad shoulders, "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap?" The angel chuckled.

 

God said, "A Mother needs a lap. A Father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, to balance a boy on a bicycle, or to hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

 

When God was in the middle of creating the biggest feet any one had ever seen, the angel could not contain herself any longer.

 

"That's not fair. Do you honestly think those feet are going to get out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries, or walk through a birthday party without crushing one or two of the guests?"

 

God again smiled and said, "They will work. You will see. They will support a small child who wants to ride to Branbury Cross or scare mice away from a summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill." God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.

 

Finally, almost as an after thought, He added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied he can love as much as a Mother can?"

The angel said nothing more.

Love quotes

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

~ George Eliot

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

~ Mignon McLaughlin

For one human being to love another that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.

~ Mother Teresa

Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love.

~ Henry Drummond

Treasure the love you receive above all.

It will survive long after your good health has vanished.

~ Og Mandino

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.

~ Pearl S. Buck

Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.

~ Marguerite De Valois

All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time: effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

~ Germaine De Stael

Love is the history of a woman's life; it is an episode in man's.

~ Germaine De Stael

The loving are the daring.

~ Bayard Taylor

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible.

~ Mother Teresa

The only gift is a portion of thyself.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best portion of a good man's life,

His little, nameless, unremembered acts,

Of kindness and of love.

~ William Wordsworth

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.

~ Robert Browning

Love is a thing, well, its kind of like quicksand: 

The more you are in it, the deeper you sink. 

And when it hits you, you've just got to fall.

~ UB40

Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each include the other, each is enriched by the other.

~ Felix Adler

 

Think about it, there must be higher love

Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above

Without it, life is a wasted time

Look inside your heart, I'll look inside mine.

~ Steve Winwood

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.

~ Cathy Carlyle

Love does not consist in gazing at each other

but in looking together in the same direction.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.

~ Benjamin Disraeli

Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.

~ Leo Buscaglia

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.

There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

~ Henry Kissinger

To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Kindness in words creates confidence.

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.

Kindness in giving creates love.

~ Lao Tzu

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.

~ Jacques Benigne Bossuel

Love is the true means by which the world is enjoyed: our love to others, and others' love to us.

~ Thomas Trahern

Love is always bestowed as a gift -- freely, willingly, and without expectation. ...

We don't love to be loved; we love to love.

~ Leo Buscaglia

 

It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.

~ William Thackeray

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.

~ Fulton J. Sheen

We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us.

~ Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.

~ Elbert Hubbard

The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable.

~ Victor Hugo

There is no instinct like that of the heart.

~ Lord Byron

We are all born for love...it is the principle existence and it's only end.

~ Disraeli

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

~ Bertrand Russell, Earl Russell

We can only learn to love by loving.

~ Iris Murdoch

May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness and tied with love.

~ L.O. Baird

Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own home.

Give love to your children, to a wife or husband, to a next-door neighbor.

~ Mother Teresa

The dedicated life is the life worth living.

You must give with your whole heart.

~ Anne Dillard

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

~ Sam Keen

What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose.

~ Henry Ward Beecher

Love doesn't make the world go 'round.

Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

~ Franklin P. Jones

The truth [is] that there is only one terminal dignity-love. And the story of a love is not important-what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.

~ Helen Hayes

Did I marry the right person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It Depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. 

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...

You can "make" love.

Health benefits of rice

Mumbai Mirror

Regular rice is much maligned and is fast being dropped in favour of its unpolished avatar. But are the charges valid? Sports nutritionist Rujuta Diwekar separates the grain from the husk

The Chinese eat rice with every meal, breakfast included, and the average Chinese on the street is thin, if not skinny. In our country, however, we are getting skeptical about rice and yes, we are all getting fatter. We either give up rice or replace it with wheat or 'brown' rice. What is wrong with this approach?

Replacing rice with wheat is not a good idea since it means reducing your intake of amino acids (protein's building blocks) and Vitamin B. As for brown rice, it has the outer layer (husk and bran) intact thereby making it high in fibre. Now of course we want fibre but if your rice has more fibre than you can digest, brown rice will only cause indigestion. On the other hand, rice that emits blinding whiteness may not be the best source of nutrients either.

Thus, to get the best of both worlds, polish your rice to the extent that helps it retain its nutrients (proteins, Vitamin B and fibre) and looks brownish or reddish. Remove the outer bran but allow the rice grain to show off its brown/red strains. Don't worry, this won't compromise the taste and yes, you can eat basmati rice with the brown/red strains as well.

The protein in this rice (red-rice or hand-polished rice) is absorbed much better by your body than in brown rice. It is also way easier to cook and digest as compared to brown rice. It is easy to digest, easy to absorb, easy to assimilate proteins from and easier on your excretory system too. This is exactly how the farming community of India eats its rice.

In fact, Ayurveda uses rice based diets in treating various imbalances in the body. Dal-chawal is a nutritious meal, possessing the entire spectrum of amino acids, vitamins and minerals. It also accelerates fat burning. In fact, the essential amino acid methionine found pre-dominantly in rice helps mobilize fat from the liver. As India is dominantly vegetarian, getting proteins from rice, especially the essential amino acid methionine and the conditionally essential amino acid (becomes essential under conditions of stress) tyrosine is crucial for us. Diabetics should also eat rice since they need these proteins.

Know that rice is not a bad thing. The bad thing is when we mindlessly decide if one thing is good for us and that if we do it a lot, it becomes only better. We do that with rice so often now. A humble dalchawal meal is so satiating that it makes you eat slower and improves your chances of eating the right amount (the cornerstones of fat loss or accelerated metabolism, good digestion and health itself).

Rice is auspicious in both China and India: the dead are offered rice to wish them good health for life outside their physical selves. It is sad then, that in India, even when we are still in our bodies, we make fads out of rice.

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Source: Health benefits of rice