Oh, how relationships have changed since the romance of Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. Here are the most popular qualities that modern men look for in women:
Female quality 1: She has a life of her own
Say ‘cheerio’ to the helpless heroine from classic literature, and ‘well, hello!’ to the contemporary independent woman. It’s important to show that you’re self-sufficient when you’re trying to impress a man, and it’s equally as important to maintain this when you’re in a relationship. The average modern man doesn’t want a lady to be clinging onto him all the time – it makes him feel suffocated. Rather than ditching your friends and family to spend time with a new love interest, make sure you keep separate plans in your diary at all times. Never feel as though you wouldn’t have a life if this person wasn’t in it; get out there and show that you have a vibrant lifestyle aside from him. A relationship should enhance your life, not rule it.
Female quality 2: She is honest and loyal
Be honest with your love interest. If you tell them that a) you’re married and going through a particularly difficult divorce; b) you have a strange obsession with feet; or c) anything else that could potentially make them run for the hills, then you’ve done the right thing. Okay, maybe hold back on option b for now, but you see what we’re getting at. Anything that they may find out further down the line and could put them off should be made clear from the outset, or you risk wasting the time of you both. Don’t sugar-coat anything – if this man likes you enough, he will want to help you through difficult situations rather than leaving you to it. If either you or your love interest can’t accept the truth about one another’s past or present lives, you shouldn’t think about getting together because you won’t be able to look to the future.
Female quality 3: She looks after herself
This is one thing that hasn’t changed since the days of our most distant ancestors; men like a woman who takes a pride in her appearance and vice versa. We’re not talking about being a tall, slim supermodel – it’s not all about looks – but a little primping and preening here and there goes a long way. There’s no need to dress up in a ball gown and tiara for a date, but do wear something that accentuates your fantastic figure. Wear makeup to highlight your natural features; style your hair to compliment your face; and spritz on your favourite scent to boost your confidence – hello gorgeous! Styling yourself to make you feel your best leads to a more confident you and that’s another trait that men look for in women.
Female quality 4: She is self-confident
Gone are the days when the timid damsel in distress attracted the handsome, strong man; nowadays, being needy attracts little more than a few raised eyebrows. Despite coming across as confident, rarely do the celebrities you see in the media feel as bold and confident as they look. It’s all about faking it. Instead of zoning in on your weaknesses, develop and maximise your strengths to put you in the right frame of mind. Make sure you use your body language to your advantage, as this can help you to fake confidence when really you might prefer it if the ground were to swallow you up. Stand tall, make eye contact, and smile, for an instantly more confident you.
Female quality 5: She is mature and well-spoken
Baby talk can be cute but don’t use it too often, sugar bunny. Your average modern man likes his woman to be able to hold down an intellectual conversation as well as having a good sense of humour, and cutie-overload could put him off. Talk about interesting topics and be sure to listen to him as well as inputting your own thoughts and ideas into the conversation. Hold back on slang words for your first few dates and avoid swear words too, as they come across as uncouth.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a modern man looks for different qualities in a woman than he may have done in the 1800s and – whilst no man is ever the same and may look for different qualities in a woman – it’s a good idea to take these tips on board to boost your dating potential.
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