She told me she loves me more ...

Quips

She told me she loves me more than any other man in the world. She tried them all???

Politics

·         Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato

·         Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer

·         I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

·         Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson

The Question

A logician saves the life of a tiny space alien. The alien is very grateful and, since she's omniscient, offers the following reward: She will answer any question the logician might pose.

Without too much thought (after all, he's a logician), he asks: "What is the best question to ask and what is the correct answer to that question?"

The tiny alien pauses. Finally she replies, "The best question is the one you just asked and the correct answer is the one I gave."

Dogs vs Politicians

·         My dog sleeps most of the day.

·         He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.

·         His meals are provided at no cost to him.

·         He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

·         For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.

·         He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is not required to do any upkeep.

·         If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

·         He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

·         He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

·         He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

·         All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

Politicians are just like dogs, except that dogs are more grateful.

THE QUESTION. . . . . . AND THE ANSWER.

An age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the rationale:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you *never* hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

Frozen panes

Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen."

Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it."

Wife texts back: "Computer completely fuc?ed now."

Annoying People

·         People can be anything they want on the internet, so it always amazes me how many people choose "freakin' moron".

·         Every year there are more and more assholes.  This year I have the impression that the assholes from next year have already begun to arrive. ~Patrick Timsit

·         You shouldn't call people assholes, but you must never forget that, in reality, they ARE.

Elephantine limericks

The elephant has a great big trunk;

He never packs it with clothes.

It has no lock and it has no key,

But he takes it wherever he goes.

Way down south where bananas grow,

A grasshopper stepped on an elephant's toe.

The elephant said, with tears in his eyes,

"Pick on somebody your own size."

Patience

The woman comes back to her house and rushes into the library to speak with her husband: "We have got to fire the chauffeur; that's twice that he has nearly killed me!"

"Oh," says the husband, "let's not be too hasty. I want to give him one more chance."

Lie detectors

The sheriff found that he needed to hire an extra deputy, and he was interviewing a candidate: "Pauly, have you ever seen a lie detector?"

"Better than that, sheriff, I married one."

Favorite tax

At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found fairest. There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in the back raised his hand. "The poll tax," he said.

"But the poll tax was repealed," replied the commissioner.

"Ay-yuh," declared the man, "that's what I like about it."

The trial

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness, "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case"?

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case"? The lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said. "I thought he was talking to you."

20 food tips to revolutionize your cooking

From the weird to the "why didn't we think of that?"...

If you've got a kitchen problem, chances are someone out there has solved it. The internet is awash with amazing and little-known tips and tricks to help you overcome all sorts of cooking and food preparation issues. Read on to discover our favourite 20. We guarantee you'll find at least one that changes the way you do things...

How to make fridge-cold butter spreadable

You know how it is. You're in a rush, you're trying to make a sandwich or a packed lunch and the butter's straight out of the fridge. There's a simple solution: reach for the cheese grater. If you grate your fridge-cold butter, it will be spreadable within a minute

How to make perfect bacon

Prepping a lot of bacon? There's a very easy way to make sure it's cooked consistently and have it all ready at the same time. Forget the pan, forget the grill: line a baking tray with foil and bake it at 190C for about 20 minutes for perfectly crispy bacon in large volumes.

How to save money on fresh herbs

Limited for space? Don't have a garden? Or just bored with paying lots of money for bunches of fresh herbs when you just need a couple of sprigs? Plant a herb window box - or a hanging basket. They smell delicious, give you a handy source of herbs and save money

How to core and chop a pepper quickly

There's a very easy way get all the flesh off a pepper and remove the core whole. Slice off the top and the stalk. Slice off the bottom. Then spiral cut the rest of the pepper around the core. It's also a great way to remove the seeds from chillies - which, of course, is where the heat is.

How to chop onions easily

Onions are great at this time of year but it's amazing how few of us know how to slice them easily. Cut your onion in half through the root. Place the flat side down, root-end away from you and slice vertically from tip to almost the root. Then hold the root and chop across. Result: Diced onion, no slippage and, because the root bulb is the bit that makes you cry, fewer tears.

How to remove garlic or onion smells from your hands

After chopping onions or garlic, your hands will smell of, well, onions or garlic. One of the most efficient ways to remove the smell is stainless steel. Be it kitchen sink or a handy spoon, 'wash' your hands with it for 30 seconds. No, we don't know why it works but it does.

How to peel ginger

You can, of course, slice away at your ginger with a sharp knife but that wastes a lot of the good stuff. That's where a teaspoon comes in. The skin of the ginger might look gnarled but it's actually surprisingly soft and very thin and the edge of a spoon takes it off cleanly with no waste.

How to remove broken egg shell from a bowl of eggs

When breaking eggs into a bowl, little bits of shell often fall in. If you've ever tried removing them with a finger, you'll know how you end up chasing them around the bowl. Next time, use another piece of broken shell and they'll stick right on and lift out easily - according to @1accidnetalchef, you can use the same trick to remove specks of yolk from egg whites. Alternatively, to reduce the problem do what @lauraroweeats suggests and break eggs on a flat surface rather than an edge.

How to toast a sandwich without a sandwich toaster

Fancy a toasted sandwich but don't have a sandwich toaster or a grill? Simply turn your toaster on its side. We wouldn't advise it for cheese or runny fillings, however - if you want to do that, spread the outside of your sandwich with butter and toast both sides in a dry frying pan.

How to make your own sundried tomatoes

It's the end of tomato season. If you've got a glut and fancy a change from frozen portions of tomato sauce, why not make your own sundried tomatoes? 'Sun', however, is something of a misnomer: it's actually done in the oven. Set the oven to the lowest possible temperature, halve your tomatoes, lay them on a cake rack and leave them in there for 10-20 hours.

How to squeeze more juice from a lemon

Or a lime, or an orange. Any citrus fruit as it happens. Simply apply a reasonable amount of pressure and roll it on the counter before you juice it. Result, an increase in the amount of juice it produces.

How to salvage old fruit

We all do it. Buy fruit and then just leave it turning wizened and overripe in the bowl. But you can salvage most of it. Peel overripe bananas and freeze the flesh to add to smoothies and milkshakes. If you've got shrivelled looking lemons or limes, a five- to-10 second blast in the microwave makes it easy to juice them still.

How to save money on onions

We've all thrown out half onions that we've found at the back of the fridge, after only needing a small amount for a recipe or dish. There is a painfully obvious solution, that'll save you money, mean you're always using fresh vegetables and not wasting anything. Buy shallots and onions of different size rather than those strings of uniform size. Told you it was obvious

How to fry things properly

When using a frying pan, don't overcrowd the pan. Doing so makes the temperature fall rapidly and the contents will steam rather than fry. That means less caramelisation, less flavour and a longer cooking time. And if you need to add more oil, add it steadily at the side of the pan - by the time it reaches what you're cooking, it'll be hot.

How to store fruit for longer

A wet summer with a little sunshine at the end has meant two things: lots of slugs but also lots of glorious blackberries. If you've ever picked such fruit, you'll know how quickly it can go off so wash it straight away, dry it and store it on kitchen roll in the fridge for an extra three or four days of edible life.

How to use tea towels for things other than drying

As they almost said in The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, tea towels are your friend. As well as drying up, they provide great insulation in cool boxes and a damp towel can even make your chopping board more secure. Fold it over, place it between the work surface and the board and the board won't slip.

How to stop a pot from boiling over

It sounds like an old wives' tale and thinking about it, it probably is. But, somehow, it works. Put a wooden spoon or a spatula across a saucepan and, should the phone ring and you have to wander away, you don't have to worry about what's happening in the kitchen.

How to season a dish while cooking

When cooking, add salt and freshly milled pepper by hand from a bowl. Using grinders or mills over steaming saucepans will clog up the mechanism. You''ll probably also add more seasoning this way too - and that's one of the reasons restaurant food generally tastes better than your cooking.

How to make perfect pasta

Coming into the autumn - and after THAT summer - minds are on comfort eating. That often means pasta and there are many simple ways to make that better. Boil it for one minute less than the packet dictates and cook it for one minute in the sauce. And before you add sauce, sprinkle the pasta with parmesan - that gives the sauce something to stick to.

How to cut a cheese or a big cake evenly

Need to cut a big cake evenly? Need to cut cheese - particularly soft cheeses and stilton? Or stuck in a hotel room with lovely local cheese and nothing to cut them with? Go to the toiletry bag and reach for the unscented dental floss...

Source: 20 food tips to revolutionize your cooking 

11 financial planning lessons from Ganesha

Hiral Thanawala, InvestmentYogi.com

Hiral Thanawala is a PGDM (Finance) graduate and certified financial planner. The views explained by him are personal. He can be reached at hiralthanawala@gmail.com

Investmentyogi.com is a one-stop personal finance website which helps in managing finances, investments and taxes through services like financial planning, online tax filing, budgeting and 'Ask the Expert'.

Lord Ganesha is known as the god of wisdom, remover of obstacles, symbol of happiness, master of knowledge, etc equally adored by kids as well as grown up people. There are so many things to learn from Ganesha's idol. Today, we will see what message he conveys to us on financial planning when you look at his physique (appearance). This will help you to gain some insights on financial planning, change your financial behaviour and bring prosperity in life.

The credit for this interpretation on financial planning from Lord Ganesha's physique goes to my friend Jigisha. Two years ago, when her financial planning was in absolute disarray. She was trapped under loads of debt due to a personal loan she had availed and unchecked spending on credit card bills; also she had taken some wrong investment decisions amounting to more losses, purchased things as per desires and did not analyse her requirements before opting to buy. Due to such illogical financial planning situations in her life, she was stressed out. During that time she visited Shree Siddhivinayak Temple in Mumbai to worship and concentrated on Lord Ganesha's appearance for some time. HIS physique gave directions to resolve her problems and she learnt 12 financial planning lessons from HIM.

1. Big head

Lord Ganesha's 'Big head' tell you to 'Think big' and out of box during such situations. There are solutions to every problems you face in life. You just need to analyse the situation by keeping calm and the answer lies within it. Here, Jigisha had taken wrong investment decisions and kept all eggs (investment amount) in one basket (asset class) which turned into losses. Also, she had concentrated only on one aspect of financial planning i.e. investment planning.

She learnt a lesson from her oversight that diversification in asset allocation is a must in when markets are volatile. She understood that with investment planning equal importance must be given to other aspects like tax planning, retirement planning, estate planning and insurance planning which play vital role in making a comprehensive financial plan.

An important message she learnt is managing debt by planning it ahead and to take investment decisions considering her goals and risk appetite.

2. Small eyes

The 'Small Beautiful Eyes' tell you to 'Concentrate' on your financial planning goals.

You need to ask questions to yourself like: why do I need a financial plan? What are my specific goals with time frame to achieve it? The goals which are identified need to be prioritised and then start working to achieve it.

Earlier, Jigisha's investment decisions lacked specific goals with her investment decisions; she didn't prioritise her goals and time frame to achieve them. Now, she maintains a table that has a holistic view on investment decisions with specific goals attached to it as shown in the table below:

3. Large ears

'Large Ears' tells you to 'Listen More' to financial advisors/planners.

There are interviews and TV shows by financial planners/experts that give insights on financial planning. Learn more about financial planning from their discussions and see to it that your plan is perfect. If it's difficult to manage your financial plan then meet these experts to chalk out your financial plan and follow the recommendations they suggest to move in right direction.

In the past, Jigisha's financial plan was cluttered; she took decisions which she thought were perfect for her without taking any expert advice. Later she understood her financial planning required some guidance. So, she turned to me for advice on financial planning since I was her friend and a practicing financial planner.

4. Small mouth

Know this popular proverb: Actions speak louder than words?

This means what someone says is different from what they do. 'Small Mouth' of Ganeshji tells you to 'Talk Less' and work on financial plan with 100 per cent dedication and focus to achieve fruitful returns.

It is often seen people prepare financial plan and say they would start following it from that moment but after a few weeks keep pushing its implementation ahead citing silly excuses.

5. One tusk

One Tusk' conveys 'Retaining Good and Throwing away the Bad'. It means analyse your portfolio periodically, sell off investments which are making losses and stay invested in assets that are performing well.

Interpreting from Lord Ganesha's one tusk, Jigisha churned out her investment portfolio which was making losses and then diversified her portfolio giving consistent returns of approximately 18 per cent per annum since 2010.

6. Trunk

Ganeshji's 'Trunk' conveys 'High Efficiency and Adaptability' and tells you to evaluate your portfolio on a regular basis. There are times during which an investor needs to take defensive decisions and diversify investment to fixed deposits/bonds. But, when market look strong fundamentally investors should take aggressive decisions of investing a major chunk into stocks which has potential to perform well in future (long term).

Financial planning also requires regular review and continuous progress to achieve set goals with some adjustments and overcoming the obstacles. In the past, when Jigisha's investment was deteriorating she didn't review it on time and adapt to the situation. This led to losses in her portfolio.

Now, she understood the importance of efficiency and adaptability and keeps a watch on news which could impact her financial plan and investments.

7. Large stomach

Large stomach' of Ganeshji asks us 'to digest all good and bad financial experiences in life'. Overcome bad financial experience as Jigisha did and look forward to brighter future by taking right steps from time to time to achieve your set financial goals.

Take every bad financial experience as a learning by analysing it and consider yourself one step closer towards success. Also, don't be over confident with good financial experiences and success you achieve while taking financial decisions.

8. Right foot over left foot

Ideally, we see Ganeshji's with his right foot over the left foot while he is in a sitting posture. This represents using 'knowledge and reason to overcome emotions'.

Here, Jigisha took an advice (knowledge) from a financial planner to take corrective measures about her financial plan and overcame the emotions which she was going through.

You shall increase your financial planning knowledge by reading books, periodical magazines or personal finance newspaper on a regular basis to get some guidance from experts.

9. Axe

A lot of Ganesha idols show him holding an axe in one of his hand. He holds it 'To cut off all bonds of attachment'. It means don't get attached to particular companies/asset class and stay invested even when they are not performing well.

For example, Jigisha had invested Rs 1 lakh (i.e. 70 per cent of her investment into equities) in Reliance Industries which has not been performing well since last few years. She had an attachment with this company like many other investors. She did not sell it even when stock price declined on a regular basis. The ideal decision would have been to exit from this stock when prices were declining and invest the proceeds in a company whose future business looked brighter.

Keeping yourself away from attachment with stocks or asset class (gold, silver, etc) will keep you floated during volatile markets and help to take wise buy and sell decisions depending on market situations.

10. Mouse at Ganeshji's feet

Ideally, we see Ganeshji using a mouse for a ride or has a mouse at his feet. This image conveys that 'you must keep your desires under control and not allow them to take you for a ride'. Desire could be anything: purchase a car, LED television set, play station for children, an iPad, latest iPhone, etc. While preparing a financial plan, you need to keep a check on your desires and their actual requirement.

Keeping desire under control and focusing only on actual needs will help you build a realistic financial plan which is measurable and easily achievable.

11. Modak and prasada

Ganeshji loves Modak and offers prasada to his devotees. These are considered as 'rewards of Sadhana (Devotion)' for followers. By, following recommendations/advice given in a financial plan you will definitely be rewarded in the form of achieving set goals in a timely manner.

Having 'Lord Ganesha' as your friend is a sign of blessings so move ahead in life by understanding these 11 financial planning lessons from Lord Ganesha as Jigisha did and follow her to solve your financial problems.

Happy 'Ganesha Chaturthi' to all readers from Investmentyogi!!!

Source: 11 financial planning lessons from Ganesha

Health tips for a happy road trip!

Going on a road trip?

Going on a road trip? The long hours of sitting in your car and eating all the greasy fast food can derail the diet of even a hardcore diet freak. You might have been on the best diet ever - eating vegetarian, low cal, low fat and low carb foods. But the minute you hit the road, with no access to your local grocery shop, your diet will go on a totally different trip. You will end up subsisting on fatty junk food and your daily exercise routine will just fly out of your car window!

Eat healthy, stay active

But, with a little bit of planning, you can eat healthy, stay active and have a good time on the road trip without piling up kilos. Here's what you need to do - Make a list of all the essentials that you need to carry along with you on the road trip. Take as much fresh fruits and vegetables as you can carry. Also, instead of those oily parathas, steam a batch of idlis. As idlis are double boiled and oil free, it is not just filling but also healthy food during travel. Also don't forget to carry bottled water.

Healthy food

If you are stopping over at a highway restaurant for breakfast, order an omelet with vegetables in it instead of a malasa dosa or stick to the standard idly and sambar/chutney. After breakfast, if you are craving for something sweet, reach out to the fruit basket in your car instead of a doughnut from the nearby pastry shop. First because it's not so healthy and second because it could be way past its expiry date!

Exercise breaks

If you are on a particularly long road trip, make it a point to stop and stretch your legs. You could also make this your exercise break. You could even go exploring by foot if there is a town close by. This will take care of your workout you skipped at the gym.

Anti-nausea medicines

If long drives make you nauseous, be sure you carry the anti-nausea medicines along so that you enjoy the trip and let others enjoy. You don't want be making unscheduled stop-overs to throw up.

Hygiene Tips

There is nothing complicated about hygiene tips when you are on a road trip. It's mostly common sense:

·         Washing hands: While on a road trip, wash your hands as often as possible, after touching anything that someone else has touched - after using the toilet, before eating, after eating, after fondling an object 'de art at a souvenir shop, public phone or ATM. While doctors agree that you can get rid of all germs by washing your hands with hot water and soap, sometimes, especially on road trips this is not an option. In such cases, your best bet would an alcohol-based sanitizer.

·         Face: You might be on a vacation, but the Sun is not. So, remember to carry an effective sunscreen and a moisturizer or a lotion which is a combination of both. Also, since walking into washrooms for a face wash is not possible, carry facial cleansing tissues. These are alcohol and soap free, don't require water and clean your face just like water does.

·         Clean nails: Keep your nails short and clean them whenever they are dirty, as you might end up swallowing the germs inside your nails leading to infections. We know sharing is good, but do not share your towel with anyone, especially on a road trip.

Stay hydrated

Stay hydrated: Drink water, lots of water. This will keep your urinary tract healthy.

Light-weight clothes

·         Wear light-weight clothes: Wearing light, airy clothes will keep you from chafing and overheating. Also, avoid wearing synthetic underwear. Stick to cotton as they are light and dry almost instantly. In addition, carry talcum powder to keep your feet and underarms fresh and dry.

·         If you plan to wear shoes instead of thongs or floaters while on the road trip, make sure you carry at least two extra pair of socks as you don't want the entire car to stink. Keep these tips in mind, have fun and a safe and healthy road trip!

Source: Health tips for a happy road trip! 

10 Must-Haves for Women While Travelling

By Ms SmartyPants

If you've decided to get away from your everyday routine and head off for a holiday, we're envious. Just be sure you have everything you need for your trip. From a camera to a deodorant, here are 10 things that must make it into your suitcase.

Smart bags

Pick something practical to carry your stuff in, rather than something fancy or showy. There's nothing more comfy than a backpack, especially if you plan to walk around a bit with your stuff. And go with a medium size. The bigger your bag, the more unnecessary things you're likely to stuff in.

Sensible clothes and accessories

Comfy yet smart clothes that can be mixed and matched — even layered if necessary — are a must-have. Don't forget accessories with utilitarian and aesthetic value — trendy shoes, stylish sunglasses, a chic hat, a couple of cool scarves and a small "hands-free" sling purse to carry some cash, cards and other valuables.

Intimate products

Always keep a bunch of paper tissues in your sling bag. Don't forget the sanitary protection… even if there's a good week or two before your period. And yes, if you plan on having sex, carry some contraception. Better safe than sorry.

First aid

Medication to treat minor ailments (headache, cold, flu, indigestion…) and band aids for small cuts and wounds are a must-have — before you can get medical help, if necessary. If you're heading to a tropical place, mosquito repellent is also a good idea.

Sanitiser

There are just way too many germs around. Carry a little bottle of hand sanitiser to keep them at bay.

Deodorant

This one's a must-have not only for hygienic reasons but also to use as a weapon in case someone acts fresh with you. Aim for their eyes and run in the opposite direction!

Compact camera

Who doesn't like to capture all the wonderful new sights of a new place? And be captured with them. Unless you're a professional photographer, it makes sense to invest in a light packet camera.

Adaptor/charger

What's the point of toting cell phones and cameras around if you won't have the devices necessary to charge their batteries? As for adaptors, they're indispensable while travelling aboard.

Entertainment

Whether it's a playlist of your fave songs on your compact, portable music player or cell phone itself, or a novel or puzzle book, squeeze in at least one of the above items even if pressed for space.

Healthy snack

After having accommodated all of the above, if you still have the place, don't forget a couple of light, healthy snacks — a small bag of almonds, an apple or a health/cereal bar, for example. They'll save you on money, calories and give you that much-needed nourishing energy boost… as opposed to greasy, calorie-laden and cholesterol-threatening snacks picked up on the go.

Source: 10 Must-Haves for Women While Travelling

Fat Guy Dives Through Little Tube

I really don't understand how this is physically possible but somehow this hefty dude manages to squeeze through that tiny water tube!

Fat Guy Dives Through Little Tube

New to shopping online? Beware of these traps

Noopur Runjhun, Akosha.com

E-commerce is the latest catchword in Indian consumers' world. Online shopping is a phenomenon that is fast catching up with the masses. And why not? It is fast, convenient and most importantly, cheap. With heavy discounts, attractive schemes and offers, online shopping is evidently the best bet for the rapidly emerging net savvy generation of Indian consumers.

We have nothing against online shopping as a concept. As a matter of fact, we love it. In an ideal world, it is by far the most consumer-friendly system that has emerged in the recent times. Unfortunately, 'ideal world' here is the operative phrase, completely inapplicable to the part of the world that we live in.

Undoubtedly, we as a country have evolved and it is only because of this remarkable progress that we have witnessed the emergence of e-commerce in India. However, we are still evolving and in this transient state, not all systems in the country are sufficiently equipped to ensure a smooth consumer experience when it comes to online shopping.

Our legal system does not have enough safeguards or systems in place to address issues like identity theft, unfair credit charges and other such problems which are essential ancillary issues that are associated with online shopping.

In such prevailing circumstances, caution is a consumer's best safeguard. While we understand that it is not a practically viable solution to completely do away with online transactions, it is always advisable to the consumers to exercise additional caution with online transactions.

Based on the numerous complaints that land on Akosha's desk every week, we have listed below a couple of most common and/or outrageous issues that are faced by consumers with respect to online shopping.

What you see is not what you get

My mother inevitably refuses to buy stuff for me in my absence. 'Try before you buy' is an age old piece of shopping common sense that has been completely done away with by the online shopping phenomenon. And unfortunately, it is not always for the best. The delivered product being different from the one displayed on the web site is the one of the most common complaints that we get when it comes to online shopping.

The issues range from substantial variation in physical appearance to delivery of product that is of a different size then ordered. In one of the extreme instances, a complainant who approached us had ordered a Nikon Coolpix but the portal delivered him a Nikon L23, a completely different product.

A lot of complaints also involve delivery of defective/broken products.

The consumers at large can take heart in the fact that this happens with consumers across the globe and is a necessary evil that may or may not befall on you depending on how lucky (or unlucky) you are. What an average consumer can do is to exercise utmost caution, buy only from portals that generally have a good reputation (user reviews though not always fair, still give you a good idea of the general reputation) and read the policies of the portal carefully before ordering.

Unfair refund and replacement policies

Unfair as it may sound, most online shopping portals tend to charge the consumers even for the issues that arise solely at their end. The charge is not direct but the consumers are supposed to bear the cost of shipping the defective product back if they want a refund or replacement. It is almost like a double whammy for a consumer already harassed by wrong delivery of products.

In cases of refund, quite a lot of portals have an unreasonably long duration in which they process the refund, if at all. As a harassed consumer rightly pointed out, in the times of online money transfer, where a consumer can pay the portal in a couple of minutes, the portal needing 7 to 21 days to refund that very amount is beyond any logical justification.

As we mentioned before, delivery of wrong/defective product is an inevitable fallout of a concept that has done away with physical trial or testing products before finally buying them, a lot of trouble can be avoided if you study the refund/replacement policy of the shopping portal in question carefully before deciding to buy anything from them.

Avoid portals that have too complicated or long winding refund procedure. Also, take note of the fact of who is responsible for paying the shipping cost when the product is returned. While this may not be viable at all times, as far as possible try and choose a portal that does not impose the shipping charges of returning a product on the consumer.

The consumers should also pay close attention to the time span required by the portal to not only deliver your order but also process the refund/replacement if such an instance arises.

Promotional scheme alert!

Promotional schemes and attractive discounts are one of the biggest attractions of online shopping. And undoubtedly, more often than not, the best deals are available online. But consumers need to be vary of schemes that seem too good to be true. As happened with one of the consumers who filed his complaint with Akosha.

A prominent online shooping portal offered him diamonds worth Rs 30,000 for half their price. Too good to be true but the consumer fell for it. When the diamonds arrived, the consumer figured that they were not even worth Rs 1,000.

The consumer in question eventually succeeded in getting a refund and compensation through a consumer forum. But not all of us are that lucky or persistent. It is best for an average consumer to let a dream scheme be just that -- a dream scheme.

It is not our intent to scare the consumers away from online shopping. As we mentioned before, we love it as a concept. But what we do intend to highlight through this list is the number of issues that are inherent in the system which may surface anytime to haunt the consumers. All that consumers are required to do is to exercise a little more caution than an average shopper, read and understand the relevant policies and do a background check for the portal's reputation before taking the plunge.

Most importantly, as far as possible, opt for cash on delivery. That is one sure shot way of retaining control and ensuring that your grievances, whether about a late delivery or wrong one, are redressed. This way, even if the grievance is not redressed, the financial hassle is conveniently avoided.

Source: New to shopping online? Beware of these traps