Thursday, October 31, 2013

7 Critical Observations to Make While Waiting to Interview

By Ben Weiss | U.S.News & World Report LP
Ben Weiss is the digital marketing strategist for Infusive Solutions - an NYC-based IT staffing firm in the Microsoft Partner Network that specializes in the placement of .NET, SharePoint and SQL Server developers as well as Windows Systems Engineers, DBAs and help desk support professionals in verticals such as legal, finance, fashion and media. Connect with him on Twitter: @InfusiveInc or at Facebook.com/InfusiveInc.
 
Virtually every career advisor will say you should arrive 10 to 20 minutes early to an interview to prove you can keep an appointment, have time to fill out paperwork, wipe that bit of cream cheese off your lip, fix your hair and all kinds of other stuff that will help you make a good first impression.
 
But remember that the interview is just as much about whether the opportunity would be a good fit for you as it is whether you would be a good fit for the opportunity.
 
With that in mind, here are a number of observations you can make in those precious few minutes before the interview that will help you determine if the role at hand will be a good fit.
 
1.    The greeting. You can tell a lot about a company the second you walk in the door. "Not all companies have reception areas, but was there some effort to direct incoming traffic, or did you end up standing around like you wandered through a Narnian wardrobe?" says Karen Ross, CEO of technology and financial consulting firm Sharp Decisions. "If there are no simple greeting protocols in place, think twice about team organization at your prospective employer."
 
2.    The receptionist. You can glean a lot of information about a company from observing and interacting with receptionists (at companies that employ one). For example, if the receptionist greets you warmly and says "you must be (insert your name)," that gives a much different message than if he or she comes off as bored, rude or dismissive.
 
Additionally, "reception is usually a high-turnover position," says Rick Maher, owner of Human Resources solutions provider Effective HR and a member of the business coaching franchise The Alternative Board (TAB).
 
So if you manage to ask how long he or she has been with the company and learn it has been many years, that can be a great sign.
 
3.    Technology. Take a look at the kind of desktops, mobile technology and video/projection equipment being used around the office. If it all appears cutting-edge, that can indicate the firm values up-to-date technology and will provide the resources to keep it that way. By contrast, a firm with antiquated technology may prevent you from doing your job with paramount effectiveness.
 
4.    Physical layout. Are employees boxed into cubicles or are barriers at a minimum? Is anyone at a standing desk? These observations can speak volumes about the company culture into which you'd be integrated.
 
For example, Yewande Ige, North America talent team lead at software consultancy firm Thoughtworks, says: "A candidate exploring Thoughtworks will discover an open and flexible environment," complete with moving walls and writing on all sorts of non-traditional surfaces, evidence of the company's dedication to innovation and creativity.
 
This is the kind of observation that helped Jamie Anderson, editorial coordinator at Austin, Texas-based advisement firm Software Advice, identify that her current employer was the right option when she came on site for an in-person interview.
 
"While the total suite boasts more than 10,000 square feet in usable space, the majority of employees sit alongside teammates at long French farmhouse tables without dividers," Anderson says. "While I watched people wheel over from space to space to ask each other questions, and even to hold brief team meetings, I knew the open environment was meant to foster the collaboration necessary to do good work."
 
5.    Walls. Are they adorned with ...
 
a.    Employee recognition? This observation can suggest how the firm values its personnel.
 
b.    A mission statement? A mission statement can help you understand a firm's values and what they expect from their employees. "Our logo, which includes the tagline 'Be Brilliant,' is displayed throughout the building," says Dominique Jones, vice president of human resources at talent management solutions provider Halogen Software. "Prospective employees know right away that this is a fundamental part of who we are as a company and if they are to work for us, we will expect them to be their very best - brilliant, in fact."
 
c.     Awards? You may notice recognition for sales performance, social responsibility or diversity. These are integral cues that can help you learn if your values and goals align with the hiring firm's.
 
6.    Employee dynamics. While the physical environment can provide great insight, remember that its architecture is often carefully preconceived to convey a specific message.
 
By contrast, "the way people treat each other can't be staged," says Karen Cates, professor at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. "Do people look at each other? Are smiles strained and put on or real? Are jokes routine and dull or personal and warm? Are [employees] considerate in the common areas?"
 
Similarly, evaluate whether employees are all wearing headphones and glued to their screens, indicating a more intense or independent culture, versus employees engaged in collaboration, laughter or even games.
 
7.    Employee dress. Depending on your personal style, keep on the lookout for office attire defined by T-shirts, sneakers and denim versus collars, wingtips and blazers.
 
One last note: Some hiring firms may have you wait in an area that obstructs your ability to make these observations. In that case, consider asking to use the bathroom. That can provide the critical mobility you need to check everything out before your focus is directed at the interviewer.
 
 
 

How your lifestyle is giving you headache

Shameem Akthar
 
It is one of the most common ailments, and it has struck practically everybody, at some point in their life. For some it is chronic and has specific trigger points. For others, a headache surfaces rarely, but when it does, it can be equally limiting and discomfiting. With other ailments you may wriggle out of commitments, but when you have a headache most people around you expect you to continue with normal functioning as if the headache is not there. So, despite its extremely painful nature, a headache is normally not taken too seriously by others, despite each of us having been a victim to it at some point in our lives and we all know how distracting its pain can be.
 
Shameem Akthar, yogacharya trained with the Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Center, takes you through few lifestyle triggers that provoke a headache. She also discusses lifestyle changes that may help control future episodes.
 
1. Posture problems
We do not realise how closely linked posture is to many issues of the body. It impacts our respiration.
 
A bad posture could mean shallow breathing, which in turn means stress for the body. This is also a contributor.
 
Again, a continued contracted posture or any other improper postural habit, can contract the upper back so much so to create an incipient neck problem. The pressure on the spinal nerves at the neck could cause severe headaches.
 
Even the skin at the head (scalp) may become contracted, leading to painful spasms (that try to release the contraction), causing headaches.
 
This calls for serious postural re-adjustments, through expert advice involving either a physiotherapist or a therapists in postural sciences like the Alexander technique or other movement therapies.
 
Sedentary living and working, plus the nature of your profession, are all contributors towards postural stress. Most jobs have a common, chronic ailment.
 
Identifying that and having a daily physical programme that helps contain the postural issues, will go a long way in offering relief. Doing exercise without first identifying your postural issue can actually aggravate existing problems, since exercise does challenge the spine.
 
If the spine is unable to meet the challenge, you may be faced with unidentified pain, including at the head.
 
2. Food could be the key
Food triggers have long been associated with chronic headaches. Some well-known triggers are cheese or chocolates. However, each victim of chronic headache may have specific, individual triggers.
 
It is ideal to maintain a food diary to collate information on food allergies that set you off. Also, read the labels of packed food to identify these triggers.
 
In a more general way, improper eating habits are also headache triggers. When the blood sugar dips drastically, headache is the body's way of signalling distress. So, have regular eating schedules. If your blood sugar tends to have sharp yo-yos ensure that you have small, sensible meals throughout the day.
 
Do not eat immediately before a work-out. This could be counterproductive. Also, eating high-sugar snacks will cause blood sugar yo-yos, causing headache and dizziness. Instead, choosing low-glycemic index foods will ensure a slow energy release in your blood, to keep your energy high, and your head clear.
 
3. Constipation connection
Being constipated is, for the body, a highly toxic state. This often happens when you have overeaten, had late dinner, or eat foods with too little fiber, have taken too less of good fats, or are very stressed or are dehydrated (not drinking enough fluids or hydrating foods like curd).
 
Other lesser known, but equally important causes, include lack of exercise, travel (using strange loos, for some), medication and excessive use of external laxatives. When you are stressed -- and this could be something simple as waking up late and rushing to be someplace -- can switch on the go-slow in the excretory system, making you constipated. This can lead to a dangerous toxic situation, with the headache just being symptomatic of a larger malaise.
 
To change this state of chronic constipation-headache connection, try to wake up ahead of your other schedules, so you can factor in a relaxed visit to the loo.
 
Include more fiber-rich foods. Hydrate continuously, with fluids, or wet foods. Avoid late, or heavy dinners (because the food will remain undigested longer in the gut). Try to have a regular wake-up schedule, to encourage the colon to settle into a rhythm that does not stress it.
 
If you spot a connection between any medication you take and the state of constipation, then ask your doctor for a way out to deal with this side-effect.
 
4. Stress is the culprit
Stress is one of the biggest trigger in mild or chronic headaches. Obviously normal life cannot be stress-free. It is how you handle stress that decides whether the stress would leave its imprint on your body, as pain or disease.
 
Having a coping mechanism to deal with routine stress, especially if you make the connection between your headaches and stress, could be the best course of action.
 
Such stress-relief activity could mean a physical regimen including a lot of stretches (since stress tends to contract muscles), having a 'play' activity scheduled immediately after the stressful event (for office-goers, it could mean a gripping book, an outing, a fun game at the club, or just a favourite show on television) family time, a dessert indulgence, or something special that could subconsciously give relief to the sense of being overwhelmed (which is what actually stress is!).
 
5. Dehydration and headache
Dehydration simply means you are losing water from the body too fast for its comfort. This could happen when you are sick, or forget to take water regularly, exert physically without adequate hydration, or the weather is excessively hot, or while recovering from sickness including loose motions, are in closed air-conditioned spaces, or while flying long distance. The cause are many.
 
Dehydration is very dangerous simply because it has so few obvious symptoms. A headache is amongst few that act as a distress signal from the body that it needs the right fluids. To drink water wisely is very important. Too much at one go does not do much to the body: Regular sipping is more relevant. In acute dehydration, using water with a certain amount of salt and sugar will help revive electrolyte balance. If you have not eaten for long hours and suppress hunger or mistake it for thirst it could also be dangerous: causing what is called water intoxication.
 
Listen to the cues of the body. The best way to hydrate is to think of giving the body as much fluid as it loses through heat, exertion, sweating, sickness etc.
 
 

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

20 commandments for peace of mind

Most of us are in a state of perpetual restlessness. Here are some vital lessons that can help you maintain peace of mind…
 
1.    Learn to trust yourself
“It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. As you heal and grow, it will all work out.” Repeat that in your mind every morning. Because the truth is, it all works out in the end. Put your full trust in yourself by following your intuition and doing your best, and then move forward one step at a time with faith and confidence in the future.
 
Life will not forsake you. Love, persistence and hard work combined rarely lead a person astray in the long run. If you have faith in your abilities, if you stay true to the path that feels right, if you channel your passion into action, you will ultimately achieve a breakthrough.
 
2.    Do not interfere in others' business
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic, and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction.
 
This kind of attitude on our part denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God, for God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because they are prompted to do so. Why are you bothered? Mind your own business and you will have your peace.
 
3.    Focus on what you’re learning
Mistakes and setbacks are simply a form of practice. If the road is easy and free of bumps, you’re likely going the wrong way. The bumps in the road teach you what you need to know to progress down a path that is all your own. Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right.
 
Bottom line: Your journey isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be worth it. To never struggle is to never grow. There is no perfectly smooth road to anyplace worth going.
 
4.    Forget and forgive
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often nurture ill feeling inside our heart for the person who insults or harms us. We forget that the insult or injury was done to us once but by nourishing the grievance we go on excavating the wound forever. Therefore it is essential that we cultivate the art of forgiving and forgetting. Believe in the justice of God and the doctrine of Karma. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forget, forgive, and march on.
 
5.    Do not crave for recognition
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motive. They may praise you today because you are rich and have power but no sooner you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and start criticizing you.
 
Moreover, no one is perfect. Then why do you value the words of praise of another mortal like you? Why do you crave for recognition? Believe in yourself. People's praises do not last long. Do your duties ethically and sincerely and leave the rest to God.
 
6.    Take a few steps back
Everything seems simpler from a distance. Sometimes you simply need to distance yourself to see things more clearly. You are more than whatever is troubling you. A very real part of you exists beyond your worries, beyond your doubts, independent from the troubles and frustrations of the present moment. Step back and observe yourself as you experience each moment. Be present. Watch yourself as you think, as you take action, as you experience emotions.
 
Think of the most difficult challenge you face right now. Imagine that it’s not you, but a close friend who is facing this challenge. What advice would you give him or her? If you could step back and, instead of being the subject, look at your situation as an objective observer, would you look at it any differently? Think of the advice you would give your friend if your friend were in your shoes. Are you following your own best advice right now?
 
7.    Don't be jealous
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know you work harder than your colleagues in the office but they get promotions, you do not. You started a business several years ago but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. Should you be jealous? No! Just concentrate on your efforts. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere, but will only give you restlessness.
 
8.    Change yourself according to the environment
If you try to change the environment single handedly, the chances are you may fail. Instead, change yourself to suit the environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has remained unfriendly for you, will mysteriously appear to be congenial and harmonious.
 
9.    Give yourself time
Take all the time you need. Emotional well being is a process; don’t rush yourself through it. Don’t let others force you through it either. If there had been an unfortunate incident, moving on won’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken past and your wounded self.
 
Take today breath by breath, one step at a time. Never let trouble from the past make you feel like you have a bad life now. Just because yesterday was painful doesn’t mean today will be too. Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us. Today you have a choice to explore these parts of yourself. Give yourself the needed time and permission to explore and heal.
 
10. Endure what cannot be cured
This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations and accidents that are beyond our control. We must learn to endure them cheerfully thinking, "God will it so, so be it". God's logic is beyond our comprehension. Believe it and you will gain in patience, in inner strength, in will power.
 
11. Do not bite more than you can chew
This saying should be always remembered. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable to carry out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Spend your free time on prayers, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind, which make you restless. Fewer the thoughts, greater is the peace of mind.
 
12. Look for the beginning in every ending
A wise man once said, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Today is a new beginning; treat it that way. Stop thinking about what might have been and starting looking at what can be.
 
Say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me. Dear Future, I am ready now!” Because a great beginning always occurs at the exact moment you thought would be the end of everything.
 
13. Meditate regularly
Meditation makes the mind thoughtless. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour every day, you will tend to become calm during the remaining twenty-three and a half hours. Your mind will not be disturbed as much as before. This will increase your efficiency and you will turn out more work in less time.
 
14. Use hope to drive positive action
Only in the dark can you see the stars. The stars are hope. Look for them. The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope as you work for what you want. Do not admire what you hope for from a distance, but live right in it. Get deeply involved with the thoughts and activities that keep your hope alive and your intention possible.
 
Hope empowers you to strive and grow even when your circumstances are in shambles. The road that is built with hope is more pleasant than the road built in despair, even though they both may seem to lead you to the same place in the short-term. But it is the positive growth you attain on your way to this temporary place that will benefit your final destination. It’s all about balance – accepting reality without giving up on what needs to be done to reach your desired destination in the long run.
 
15. Never leave the mind vacant
An empty mind is devil's workshop. All evil deeds start in the mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. You must decide what you value more - money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even if you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading.
 
16. Ease your expectations
Life is under no obligation to give you exactly what you expect. Whatever it is you’re seeking will rarely ever come in the form you’re expecting. Don’t miss the silver lining because you were expecting gold. You must see and accept things as they are instead of as you hoped, wished, or expected them to be. Just because it didn’t turn out like you had envisioned, doesn’t mean it isn’t exactly what you need to get to where you ultimately want to go.
 
17. Do not procrastinate and never regret
Do not waste time in wondering "should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Always remember God has His own plan too. Value your time and do things.
 
It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can rectify your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes but do not brood over the past. Do not regret! Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the will of God. You do not have the power to alter the course of God's will. Why cry?
 
18. Open up to someone you trust
You aren’t alone; let someone special in when you’re in a dark place. You know who this person is. Don’t expect them to solve your problems; just allow them to face your problems with you. Give them permission to stand beside you. They won’t necessarily be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.
 
Above all, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone. No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic you feel about our own situation, there is someone in your life who has dealt with similar emotions and who wants to help you. When you hear yourself say, “I am alone,” it’s just your insecurities trying to sell you a lie.
 
19. Move towards something instead of away
By persistently trying to move away from what you don’t want, you are forced to think about it so much that you end up carrying it’s weight along with you. But if you instead choose to focus your energy on moving toward something you do want, you naturally leave the negative weight behind as you progress forward. Bottom line: Instead of concentrating on eliminating the negative, concentrate on creating something positive.
 
20. Focus on the blessings
No matter how horrible life may seem on the outside, it is so important to focus on the beauty. As we go about our daily lives, we take so many wonderful things for granted. It's now time to notice.
 
Strangely, this is hard to do, especially when we have our eyes focused on the bad. It sounds ridiculous, but we actually have to train ourselves to notice all the beauty in our lives. And train ourselves, we must…because focusing on the blessings is an absolute necessity for diffusing our fears about the future.
 
 
 

Start moving

Ralph Marston - The Daily Motivator
 
There's a way forward. To find it, start moving.
 
To make some progress, you must make some effort. Get going, make the effort, persist at it, and the progress you seek will come.
 
If you're concerned about making mistakes, your concerns are very well founded. But holding yourself back because you fear you'll make a mistake is the biggest mistake of all.
 
The positive possibilities are out there. The way to discover them, and to make the most of them, is to get yourself out there too.
 
A positive change requires positive action. This is the moment you have, and this is the time to take that action.
 
Though it may feel very comfortable where you are, it can also feel great to get yourself in motion. Get moving, and get more of life's best treasures coming your way.
 

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Keep moving"...

I love the phrase, "Keep moving."
 
Do you recall when we were in school and used to stand in a line. After the assembly, we were told, "Keep the line moving."
 
When we went to the circus or a cinema hall or an exhibition or any other crowded place we hear the usher saying, "Keep the line moving." This is a very up important phrase. Its a lesson that we learn from random unrelated people. Keep moving.
 
From childhood to now, every situation that comes in our life moves us to the next. It just shifts and we shift with it. We are born and very soon we are grown up. It seems that the intervening period just shifted. We are hardly able to walk and start running. It seems that our feet just got wings. Then school and we kept moving. Today at the age that we are, and we look back it seems like the years that passed by were truly like a dream. This is because we kept moving.
 
This is the only existential truth we must accept. It's all about moving from one state to another. From one place to another, from one physical form to another.
 
Just recall a difficult time that you had a year or two years ago, today when you think about it, it is difficult to experience those emotions, this is because you have moved from that time. In this earth though there is existence of time and space, in our virtual mind none exists. This is the reason that we can - Keep Moving.
 
Whenever you find yourself stuck, fixed and grounded in pain, "Keep Moving". The circumstances will change. This is the grace with which existence treats us.....are we treating it the same way?
 
Make it your Phrase and - Keep Moving........
 

Reasons you should never have a threesome

Edison Thomas
 
More and more young couples, both married and unmarried, after being in a relationship for a fair period of time (ranging from six months to 10 years) are beginning to experiment.

What begins with an innocent fantasy soon grabs the imagination of the couple and all it takes is the false bravado that alcohol provides, to push one into the arms of 'others'.

Men can't handle it
Most times, it's the man who suggests a threesome. But, also most times, he's the one left holding the short end of the stick, as it's all, seemingly, quite decked in favour of the woman. Accrording to counsellor Ramya Chandran, "Women, as they are made can actually forgive a man when he strays, as long as he comes clean and they know that they are his only true love. So in a threesome situation, where it's with another woman, since it's already been discussed, women are okay with it, and quite enjoy the overflow of passion and the sensitive touches of a woman. But the man on the other hand might initially be excited at the idea of sharing his woman with another man, but will not know what hit him when he sees his woman enjoying the touches and attention of another man. What he feels is a combination of jealousy, remorse, anger and insecurity and when the combined feeling hits, there's only one way this relationship is going and that's, down."

Women lose self-worth
According to family cousellor, Naren B, "Women who indulge in casual sex, generally suffer from low self-esteem over a period of time. What starts out as using sex to gain control over 'man'kind, eventually gives way to the reality of being used as a sex doll by men, who soon start passing information to each other about this 'easy' woman everyone can have. Apply this general progression to that of a threesome where the woman is either forced to or willingly sleeps with another man; she is soon to be affected by the same sense of poor self-worth, since the other man is not with her because he appreciates all things that make her a woman, like her caring nature, gentleness, affections etc... all he's looking at is the physical aspect of her and once again reality is soon to hit home and she will wake up to the fact that her body is being used; that she is being used and that's not such a nice feeling."

A sense of shame prevails
The morning after is never a great feeling, in spite of all the excitement the darkness of the previous night may have offered. "Anyone in a relationship who says he or she felt great after experiencing a threesome the night before, is lying!" says Dr Alex M, a practicing psychiatrist, who also counsels married people at a volunteer center. "A sense of shame clouds you and you can of course pick yourself from it, by saying you'll never do it again and or lying to yourself that it was great and that it has rejuvenated your flagging sex life, but a sense of shame will prevail for some time to come. Many do not recover from it and some can slip into chronic depression," he says.

Things can go terribly wrong
And, then, here are all the things that can go wrong: The guy or girl you've allowed into your bed can start talking. (Guys normally do.) Whether a threesome is planned, prearranged or spontaneous, one crucial bit of information people never seem to have is the sexual health of the third person. And we're not talking just AIDS here. More common among people with a thriving sex life are herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis etc. not life threatening, but definitely chronic and very, very damaging for both physical and emotional health.

Condoms can break. It happens! Just as luck would have it, it might break when you choose to pass your mate around. And when the pregnancy test shows positive, who, do you really blame here!