By Sobiya Moghul | Healthy Living
Every expectant father feels that he would find it really hard to cope with the diverse responsibilities of becoming a parent. The truth is that when it comes to being pregnant and giving birth, the mother is the star of the show but there are ways for the expectant father to feel more engaged throughout the journey to parenthood. Overcoming fears is part of becoming a father but nevertheless, a lot of expectant fathers find it really hard to cope with the idea of becoming a parent. While the heart of expectant father may be filled with anxiety and worry, he may be reluctant to share the details with anyone. To understand this issue deeper, today Dr. Beena Jeysingh, Consultant gynecologist, The Cradle, discusses with us the 10 most common fears expectant fathers face.
Fears that Expectant Fathers Face
Security Fears
An expectant father might worry whether he will be able hold the baby in the right way, change the diapers correctly, ensure the baby's safety, if he will be able to baby proof the home the right way, etc. Such fears are normal and real but its best not to over exaggerate it.
Balancing Jobs and Family
Work life balance is one of the most significant challenges you will face as a father. There is no substitute for quality time with your family. Expectant fathers fear that they will not be able to spend enough of time at home with family. They also worry that they might not be able to manage work efficiently as they might get distracted and due to the work pressure, they will not be there for the special moments in the child's life.
Affect of Baby on Conjugal Life
Having a baby will certainly change things in a father's life and it can be seen during the time of the partner's pregnancy itself. When the baby is new and very demanding for time and attention, your partner might not want to get very intimate as she will be mostly exhausted. But that will change along the way and you must learn to be patient.
Affecting the social life
An expectant father fears that having a baby might affect their social life since parenting is a time consuming task. They fear that they will not have time to go out with their friends or enjoy a active social life. They also fear that they might lose all their friends and their social life because of this.
Relationship Fears
Some men worry that, based on what they saw in their own families, their fun-loving, go-with-the-flow partner will turn into an uptight woman. Expectant fathers fear that their partner will love the baby more than anyone on earth and thus, he will be excluded from the intimate relationship that they used to share. It is a very real fear of being replaced.
Performance Fears
Expectant father's worry that they wouldn't be able to provide the right support when when their partner will be in labor. They are afraid of passing out, throwing up, or getting queasy in the presence of all those bodily fluids. Simply put, they fear that they will not be able to be the support for the partner in their time of need.
Mortality Fears
With the beginning of a new life, one cant help but wonder about the end. Expectant fathers often think about how they are not young anymore as their replacement has arrived. They fear that becoming a father means putting the needs of a child and a family ahead of their own and loving someone more than you love yourself.
Fear for your partner's or child's health
Expectant fathers fear that they might lose the baby or they might lose their partner and that might result into him raising the baby all by himself. Childbirth is such a nerve-racking experience that scary things can happen to the person when they are going through so much pain. But its important to note that such fears are irrational and its best not to dwell upon them.
Being a Good Father
In their deepest thoughts, expectant fathers often fear that he will not be able to be a good father and that he will not be able to bring him / her up in a financially stable home.
Financial fears
Expectant fathers fear that he will not be able to support his family financially and also take care of his child's education. He fears that there will not be enough money since his wife might have taken a sabbatical from work and its a valid fear since in many families when the first child arrives, there is this sudden, if temporary, shift from two incomes for two people to one income for three.
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