10 Self Improvement Activities You Must Consider

1.    Learning new things:  Gaining more and more knowledge increases the wisdom level by giving you insightful depth in the field of your interest. Whether you are a professional, a businessman, student or a house wife you must learn new things in order to enhance your mental horizons and improving your life standards. You can do this by getting trainings, earning a new degree or certificate, subscribing to online communities or reading books.

2.    Achieving Mental & Spiritual Heights: This one is my favorite as Mental peace and mental prosperity is the most critical aspect of life regardless of the financial situation. Even if you are rich, if you don't have mental peace, you are missing a great blessing so you must work on the techniques to attain a humble and stable mind. This can be achieved by attaining positive personality, by having better control on Anger, by being less Reactive, and by avoiding Stress.

3.    Financial Targets: Most of us work on this target all year round. However we do not strategize enough to achieve it. Primarily we spend a lot of money on our wants instead of our needs. A careful analysis must be done before you spend on anything. Read this article for making good decision. Another aspect of achieving financial growth is to increase your sources of income for example running a new business, changing your current job, investing in land or gold etc. You may want to read this side article about what is actual wealth and how to achieve this.

4.    Health and Fitness: With the invention of new luxuries the life style is becoming more and more lazy consequently raising the bar for health related concerns. What adds fuel to the fire is our increased liking for fast foods and dining out in unhealthy restaurants. Junk food adds fats, results in high cholesterol and high Blood Pressure which increase the risk of heart disease leading us towards big disasters. Make a commitment to yourself to minimize eating fast foods and shift to vegetables and fruits. This cannot be done overnight so you have to change your current habits slowly and steadily.   

5.    New Career Move: I was listening to the interview of the CEO of Porsche selling company; the guy mentioned that autonomy is the most considerable reason people leave their job. Everyone wants more and more luxury, independence and growth in life. So you make this resolution to go high in your professional ladder this year. Carefully sense the market and make a smart move. 

6.    Cutting the clutters: This is not something to achieve rather to leave in order to gain indirect goals. Stats show that people who live simple life have higher happiness index. Basically what happens is that over the course of time we keep purchasing things because of our instant buying habit mixed with our intention to show-off and then eventually we dump these things in the closets or home store. Being too much materialistic and having the lust of acquiring more and more things, even if we don't use them, takes us away from simple life which ultimately add extra layer to the complications in our lives . Now is the time to clear all those bulky things in the closet and store including old clothes, toys and other commodities to give in charity. Personally, I use 6 months formula" "If something has not been used for the last 6 months, there is a most likely chance that it will not be used in next 6 months so better to give this to poor people & family around me" 

7.    Spend more time with family: With more focus on materialistic things we have reduced our family time, sometimes our children are being referred to as new age orphans. With everyone busy on his smart phones, PDAs, laptops and Television we have almost killed the family union spirit which is adding complications in relationships resulting in serious consequences. Strong family bonding are an indicative of better happiness index. People who spend less time with families are comparatively less happier. Make a resolution this year to become a family guy. Spend time with them, spend money on family fun activities and you will feel a special mental peace eventually.

8.    Getting Organized: Staying organized has many advantages in terms of having more time for yourself and family; in terms of saving money; peace of mind, better health, balanced life and improved professional/Social life. This involves being organized in terms of time, in terms of office desk, official work, differentiating between urgent and important tasks and organize them, maintaining a personal diary, maintaining a list of things-to-do. 

9.    Helping Others: Not a lot of people focus on this but I would really appeal you to consider this. Charity Services are the tax we pay back to society for living on earth. Almost all of the religions emphasize to its followers to take care of people around them. Practically speaking, you can assign 3-5% of your earnings for charity projects within your country or foreign countries who are less fortunate; having low or no food and/or having lack of other basic human necessities like water, clothes, medicines etc.

10.  Quit Smoking and drinking: Understood that bad habits die hard but remember the fact that bad habits make you die early too, especially when it comes to habits of smoking and drinking. Quit them ASAP before they overcome your health. You already know that how these two habits affect your lungs, kidneys and livers. Quit them before they make you quit the world.

The Truck Driver and the Tyre

One truck driver was doing his usual load delivery at a mental hospital, by parking his vehicle beside an open drain. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return from the mental hospital. He jacked up the truck and removed the flat tyre to fix the spare tyre.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the 4 bolts in the open drain. As he cannot fish the bolts in the open drain, he started to panic as to what should be done?

Just then, one patient happened to walk past him and asked the driver as to why he was looking troubled. The driver thought to himself, since there is nothing much he can do or this mental joker can. Just to keep the bugging away, the truck driver informed the whole episode to the mental patient and gave a helpless look.

The patient just laughed at the truck driver and said you just cannot even fix such a simple problem? "No wonder you are destined to remain a truck driver for life".

The truck driver was astonished to hear such a compliment from a mental guy. "Here is what you can do" said the mental guy... "take one bolt from each of the remaining 3 tyres / wheels and fix it on to this tyre. Then drive down to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones. Isn't it simple my friend".

The truck driver was so impressed with this quick fix answer and asked the patient "How come you are so smart and intelligent and you are here at the mental hospital?"

The patient replied "Hello friend! I stay here because I am crazy but not stupid".

No wonder, there are some people, who behave like the Truck Driver, thinking that others are just stupid. So, guys, though you all are learned and wise, but, just watch out, there could be some CRAZY guys in our professional / personal lives, who could give us lot of quick fixes and brush our wisdom.

Moral:

Just do not conclude that you know everything and do not judge people by mere looks/attire stature or academic background!

How to Analyze Thoughts

Why Should I Analyze My Thoughts:

Quality of thoughts determines the level of peace of mind. Negative thoughts result in negative acts which in turn causes distraction in emotions, unstable behavior, frequent mood swings, family complications, lack of trustworthiness, financial mistakes, professional brawls and so on. Healthy thoughts result in more positive outcomes, high happiness index, better health and so on. So all in all your thoughts are defining your present and your future.

There are several reasons for negative thoughts including but not limited to your circumstances, your brought up, financial situations, family conflicts, job and family complications. While you may not be able to fix these reasons, it is highly recommended to analyze your thoughts and mitigate the negative impact as much as possible. If you remove the impurities from your thoughts you would be able to have a positive, focused and prosperous mind.

How to Analyze My Thoughts:

If you have seen a big aquarium, you must have noticed that the fish keep wandering here and there continuously. From right to left, bottom to up, here and there; all day long. They don't seem to be getting any specific advantage while doing so. Same is the case with human mind. When your head is on the pillow, your brain starts wandering here and there. Several times it is processing the thoughts which shouldn't be the point of concern at all. Though fish do not know this but you can control your wandering of brain by picking up a specific thought/subject and ask these questions:

1.    Why am I thinking about this subject? Is this subject related to others? Why am I thinking negative about someone? I should mind my own business. 

2.    What exactly is the issue? Is this something impacting (or going to impact) me or my family? Can I define my issue/question in one sentence clearly so that I can focus on the solution?

3.    How can I resolve this issue? Is this doable? If not, can I take advice from others? If I have the solution then what are the steps which needs to be taken?

How Can I Improve the standard of my Thoughts:

1.    Avoid thinking about unnecessary things specially related to others. Mind your own business. Posses a focused mind.

2.    Stop comparing yourself to others. It's an insult to yourself. You are a unique soul and you are independent on your living, your decisions and your destiny.

3.    Don't think of monetary gains too much. Excessive love for money and assets is the root of most of stresses. Work on your real wealth.

4.    Develop the habit of forgiving and letting things go off. If you are keeping the grudge in your brains for longer durations, you are killing yourself. Stress is a slow poison which deepens its roots in your brain and destroys your physical and mental health.

5.    Read quality quotes or articles on positivity and try to absorb the message. This will kill the germs of negativity.

6.    Practice the habit of gratitude. Stop complaining, criticizing and blaming. When a negative thought comes in, convert it to positive by looking at the positive side of the issue.

7.    Instead of thinking about your 'wants' too much, think about your needs. This will reduce the magnitude of your focus because usually needs are limited but wants are too many. Adapt simple life style as it reduces unnecessary socio-economical issues. 

Don't Compare Yourself to Others

Your competition is with yourself

Comparing ourselves with others creates a fake sense of being, and curbs our uniqueness and individuality. There are numerous other reasons why a constant comparison with others is a bad idea.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” Theodore Roosevelt

Comparing ourselves with others comes naturally to a lot of us. It is a trait that we develop early on in our lives. Remember how our teachers used to portray the head boy/girl as the role model for all of us. We were expected to be like them. Even at home, comparisons with siblings were inevitable. The burden of expectations always bordered upon how you fared with the best performer of the team. And in case, you were the best performer, the comparison with others only created an impression of strength and superiority.

The fact that many of us indulge in comparing our life, social status, appearance, wealth, etc., with others, is symptomatic of a deep-rooted desire to be accepted by others. When we put ourselves against others, we measure our strengths and weaknesses with them. The reason comparisons don't work out is because no two people are similar. While one might be good at making money, another might be good at making friends. The point we are trying to drive home here, is that comparison between two individuals, who may appear to be equal due to the roles they play in their family or society, only creates the feeling of frustration, self-pity, low self-worth, and envy. There are other reasons why comparison with others should be avoided at all costs.

Why Comparing Ourselves with Others is Futile

1.    Comparison creates dependency on others.

When we indulge in comparison, the way we think about ourselves becomes dependent upon how we perceive others around us. If we are doing better than A, we get an emotional boost, but as soon as we know about B's affluence, we pity ourselves for not being able to achieve much in life. Comparisons with others only create a fake sense of being, and we find ourselves trying to keep up with others at all costs.

2.    Comparison pushes us to be 'at par' with others.

Comparing ourselves with others takes away our individuality. It forces us to do things that we ideally don't want to do.

When we engage in the game of comparison, it becomes difficult for us to think pragmatically. We are blinded by the expectations of being 'at par' with our competitors. The urge of having the same set of luxuries that others can afford, engulfs us, curbing our real qualities. We endlessly compare ourselves to our neighbors and relatives, and base our decisions on gaining a positive perception from them.

3.    Comparison causes envy and jealousy.

Comparison is one of the major reasons for creating envy and jealousy among people. For example, it often happens that the moment we come to know that a peer or a relative has bought a new car, a feeling of envy masked by condescension overpowers us. Instead of being happy for them, we criticize their decision, and make up our mind that they have given in to imprudence, and are doomed to fail. We start making assumptions about how could they possibly afford it, convincing ourselves at the same time that they will soon be under debts. In reality, the perception that the friend will now get more respect and approval from others, pesters us from inside and creates a sense of being less-worthy from him. We constantly battle against ourselves, and look for ways to beat him in this perceived competition.

4.    Comparison limits our potential.

When we compare ourselves with others, we subconsciously place limits on what we can possibly achieve. It results in the creation of a mental block, which prevents us from giving our 100%. For example, if X holds the university record of running a mile in 4 minutes, Y's entire focus will be on doing it under 4 minutes. By comparing himself with X, Y places a limitation on himself. If Y just competes against himself, and develops his skills over a period of time, he will be able to give his best shot, without constantly focusing on X's record. The important thing to remember is that we shouldn't base our targets on what others are able to achieve. We don't know their strengths and weaknesses thoroughly, but we do know ours, so it is prudent to make the best use of that.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

1.    Be yourself.

The first thing to do to stay away from the mire of comparisons is to love yourself for who you are. You may think that you are not perfect, but that is what makes us humans different from each other. As Oscar Wilde famously put it, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." Accepting yourself with all your flaws is pertinent if you really want to experience inner peace and calmness. Being content with what you have doesn't mean that you stay in a cocoon, and shy away from taking any steps to improve your skills. What it means is that you set realistic targets for yourself, and work towards achieving them.

2.    Realize that constant comparison is a bad habit.

The problem with constant comparison is that it is ingrained in us from a pretty young age, and therefore, we indulge in comparisons subconsciously. Ask a group of people whether they compare themselves to others, you will not get too many affirmations. When we do something far too often, without knowing its repercussions, we fail to see it as a vice. Therefore, to extricate ourselves from the web of unnecessary comparisons, we need to be aware of what we are doing. Any time you feel that you are trying to measure up to somebody, engage in self-talk, and convince yourself that this whole idea can be noxious for you. Constantly look out for such behavior, and dissociate your mind from such feelings. Over a period of time, you will see that the urge to always compare yourself with others has gone down.

3.    Appreciate the efforts of your peers.

Try to appreciate the people you always compare yourself with. Criticizing them behind their backs may make you feel good for some time, but if you look at it pragmatically, you end up achieving nothing out of it. Instead, you can bring about a positive change in your attitude by commending the virtues of your friends, colleagues, and relatives.

Many of us view life as a competition, where you always have to fight to survive, but we should keep in mind that life is also a journey of finding our inner-self, and discovering the true potential that is inherently present in all of us. Once we focus on our individual journey, all comparisons with others cease to exist.

Source: Unknown

60 Great Quotes

1.    You cannot change what you refuse to confront.

2.    Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

3.    Don’t think of cost. Think of value.

4.    Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

5.    Too many people buy things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t know. Read Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

6.    No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

7.    If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.

8.    Making one person smile can change the world – maybe not the whole world, but their world.

9.    Saying someone is ugly doesn’t make you any prettier.

10.  The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.

11.  Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.

12.  The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

13.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.

14.  As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.

15.  Making a hundred friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you.

16.  Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and move on.

17.  Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, Albert Einstein, etc…

18.  If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

19.  Don’t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.

20.  Falling in love is not a choice. To stay in love is.

21.  True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.

22.  While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy.

23.  Never do something permanently foolish just because you are temporarily upset.

24.  You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

25.  In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.

26.  When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

27.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

28.  There isn’t anything noble about being superior to another person. True nobility is in being superior to the person you once were.

29.  Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

30.  You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are now.

31.  People are more what they hide than what they show.

32.  Sometimes people don’t notice the things others do for them until they stop doing them.

33.  Don’t listen to what people say, watch what they do.

34.  Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.

35.  Love is not about sex or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can.

36.  Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you. It takes someone really special to stay in your life and show how much they love you.

37.  Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy suiting. Don’t save it for a special occasion; today is special.

38.  Love and appreciate your parents. We are often so busy growing up, we forget they are also growing old.

39.  When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.

40.  Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.

41.  When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.

42.  Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.

43.  Be happy. Be yourself. If others don’t like it, then let them be. Happiness is a choice. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.

44.  When you’re up, your friends know who you are. When you’re down, you know who your friends are.

45.  Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems; look for someone who will face them with you.

46.  If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself. That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat him.

47.  No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.

48.  The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.

49.  Many people are so poor because the only thing they have is money.

50.  Learn to appreciate the things you have before time forces you appreciate the things you once had.

51.  When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.

52.  You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

53.  It’s better to know and be disappointed than to never know and always wonder.

54.  There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.

55.  Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you. Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.

56.  If you tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future.

57.  What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while. Read The Power of Habit.

58.  You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

59.  Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

60.  If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

New Manager's Fundamentals

By Junaid Tahir

Below are my notes from the lecture I attended recently about "New Manager's Fundamentals". The speaker elaborated that following aspects must be taken into account by all new managers or leaders if they want to sustain and succeed in their roles:

Chose Your Decision Making Style: 

·         Chose different approaches of decision making for different situations like deciding salaries, budget review and allocations, Promotions, routine work. Following are 3 categories of decision making.

1.    Autocratic: You make the decision at your own and then inform your team, if required. (Deciding Salaries, Budget allocations, Promotions etc)

2.    Collaborative: Seek input from your team and then make the decision. (Routine office tasks, Making WBS for the project etc)

3.    Democratic: Asking your teams to decide. (Asking team where to go for lunch, get together, small/medium impact official task etc)

Develop Professional Relationship (not friendly relationship):

·         Hobbies, interests, families come under friendship. Your 5% of discussion can be on such subjects just to show people that you are human but strictly note more than 5 minutes a day.

·         Build new relationships at Lunch, Coffee times and other breaks.

·         Learn about different people in your organization from LinkedIn and have chat on relevant subjects to make them comfortable with you.

·         Build Rapports (A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups understand each other's feelings or ideas and communicate well)

Stay Visible:

·         Say hello to people around you; 5-10 minutes each day. Good relations result in good outcomes.

·         Ask people in a gentle way about what are they working on? How you can help them.

·         Tell them What you are working on? This improves the visibility about your work and help maintaining good professional relations.

Be concerned About Your Status Bubble As A Manager/Leader:

·         Be open with your team members, discuss your new role and elaborate your new responsibilities. 

·         Ask them that you want to know what they think about you as new boss

Communicate Proactively:

·         What you say is important but do consider how to say and when to say and when not to say.

·         One kg of prevention is better than 10kg of cure so stay ahead of challenges by being proactive.

·         When communicating, pause for a moment and ask "are you with me?"  At the end of discussion, ask a team member to summarize what you said.

·         Don't misjudge when you have a doubt about something your team member said.  Ask "can you clarify".

·         Consider Candor communication Vs Civility Communication approach. Both are important. Candor (Straight, blunt, candid). Civility (nice, positive, congenial)

·         Different communication approaches (Text, Email, Phone, Meeting) have different kind of trade of in terms of effectiveness and efficiency. Some approaches might be efficient to convey the message but may not be effective (SMS). Face to face is the best approach to consider as much as possible.

·         Want to send tough email? Draft it now, go for coffee or lunch, come back, read again with relaxed mind and then send.

Provide Effective Feedback:

·         Give right amount of feedback. Too little may not help a person. Too much criticism may not be digested by employee and may sound offensive. Consider what amount of feedback is required and then convey. Feed back is two way thing not one way. Make it a conversation. Ask him/her about his/her opinion.

·         Give feedback in person. Give feedback as quickly as possible so it sound relevant. Be respect. Avoid "You" and "I" words.

Conduct Relevant Meetings Only:

·         Don't call unnecessary meetings. Consider these situations to call  meeting:

1.    Important Team decisions

2.    Major Announcements (Changes in company strategy)

3.    Kick off Meeting. (Clarifying the initiative, expectations from teams, roles and responsibilities)

4.    Pre mortem and Post mortem (Discussing what might go wrong when project starts and when it goes live)

5.    A challenging situation on which feedback is required.

·         Call only relevant people (Experts, Affected and Sponsors)o    Don't invite too many experts.  Don't invite sponsors (Leadership) every time. Don't invite political associates.

Use Authority Wisely:

·         Authority is your legitimate right to exercise influence and decision making.

·         If you want to make changes, start with the smaller ones.

·         Consider Pro-Employee changes (the one which employees are going to like – example, lunch timings flexible etc)o    Consider Team culture (The shared attitude and behavior of the overall team). Consider buy-in from key employees prior to implementing a new decision.

Develop a Lieutenant:

·         Consider a person to work as second in command who can make decisions when you are away, attend meetings on your behalf etc. Make it informal instead of formal position in the team.

·         He will give team's feedback for improvement.

·         He will be your personal devil's advocate. He will privately question your assumptions and challenge your thoughts for improvement.

·         He is 'not a yes man', not a conflict generator, not a political personality. He is trust worthy, hard working, visionary and thoughtful.

Enhance Your Outlook:

·         Look and behave like a leader. Spend time on enhancing your outlook. Right clothes, shoes, suit, hair style etc.

·         No sudden change in outlook required. Avoid becoming a joke by immediate change in your personality. Slow transformation is recommended.

Defining Norms:

Define formal and informal norms for your team members. For example, we are Positive; we show respect; we are solution oriented; we are trust worthy and transparent etc.

These norms will become their habits if you repeat them in different meetings and other discussions.

While attending this training I made my own Norms. These norms cover my major professional personality traits. Have a look below and then ponder what are your norms?

N- No negativity – All Positive

O- Open heart (Transparent)

R- Respectful – Strong mutual respect.

M- Micro and Macro Analyst

S- Solution Oriented

Some General Recommendations:

·         Convey the message to your teams with your actions that you trust them not be telling them. Your actions must portray what you believe in.

·         Share Credit. Acknowledge everyone's contribution.

·         Help others succeed. If they succeed you succeed.

·         Develop Empathy: The skill to understand and be sensitive to other emotions.

·         Project your confidence with your eye contact and through your voice

·         Maintain your modesty. Be Humble