Actual letter - Times of India

Hilarious!

This is an actual letter (taken from the Times of India) in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement.

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna. I am seeing your advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on you and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.

I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna . I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School , Bezna Road .  I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly.

Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.

I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.

I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

Madam, if you are marrying me, I am telling you, I will be hardly loving you everyday. If you are not marrying me then I will press you and press you until you come. I am at your feet and slowing looking up, with hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply why because I am stiff with excitement and anticipation.

Expecting good answer and replies to me in the future.

Namaste.

Yours,

Hiralal Yadav