By Rati Agrawal, Team iDiva
Love and romance are important in a relationship; but when you plan to get married you need to be practical too. Before you decide to spend your whole life together, you need to clear up all doubt and talk about your expectations. Here are a few things you should discuss with your partner before getting married.
Money: How will you both handle money? After getting married, how do you plan to handle your finances? Who will take care of which part and how do you plan to save? If one partner is earning more than the other, then do you plan to save money in a joint account or would you prefer separate accounts? When it comes to monetary security, one needs to be very sure and talking it out with your husband-to-be helps.
Kids: Do both of you want kids? If yes, then when do you plan to start a family? How many kids do you both want and what do you think your parenting style is? You need to work as a team when you become parents and also have a plan when it comes to disciplining your kids too.
Similarities: Do you both agree on what a “good relationship” is? What are your expectations from your marriage and do you think you will be able to give your partner what he needs? You need to know his hobbies, likes and dislikes, and see if they are similar to yours. Also both of you need to be flexible and meet halfway at times.
Social life: Having a life outside your marriage is important and you need to maintain a social life. Discuss beforehand how much time you will set aside to meet your friends and acquaintances. Does your husband want to tag along every time you want to hang out with your friends or is he comfortable with you going out alone?
Career: How do you plan to negotiate your work? Is work your first priority or is your would-be-family more important? How many hours a week so you plan to work and under what circumstances? If one of you is offered a career opportunity that takes you away, then do you plan to relocate or does your career not allow that? How do your levels of ambition match? Does he expect you to quit your job and take care of the children? It is very important that you understand how important your career is for both of you.
The excitement: When getting married the bride is so excited that she forgets that after a while the honeymoon phase will be over. Talk ahead and plan out ways to keep your marriage exciting. Plan to take out some time to spend together, go for romantic candlelit dinners or walks in the park. All these tiny things keep the spark alive.
Sex and intimacy: Once you feel your partner is compatible with you in everything else, you need to talk to him about the intimate things. What are his expectations from you? Are your sexual needs compatible and do you need more or less the same level of intimacy? Can you talk about the things you want in bed and what you need to spice things up? Does he know what level of intimacy you need to feel loved and cared for and your comfort level when it comes to public displays of affection?
Religion and Values: Chances are the person you are marrying will have the same views on life and the same moral code as you, but when it comes to children, religion and values play a big part. These questions come up once you have children. You need to decide beforehand what kind of morals you want to raise your kids with. You need to have a foundation on which you can build on later.
Household chores: There are so many chores that need to be done in a home. As a working woman, you might need to share the chores with your husband. Who will get the groceries or pay the electricity bill? Does he expect you to cook everyday or is he open to ordering in or cooking himself? Discuss what you absolutely hate doing and if he will be willing to take on that task.
Personal Space: There are times when you need to be left alone and do things your way. When you are self-reliant and have been doing things your own way, getting married can change a lot of things. So make it clear that you need to be left alone once in a while. Communicate these needs clearly to your partner.
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