By Junaid Tahir
Empathy is the skill to understand the
emotions of people and to treat them according to their emotional reaction.
This skill is closely linked with the emotional intelligence which is basically
analyzing, assessing and managing the emotion of oneself and others. So by
developing and practicing this skill not only you resolve someone's problems
but also win their hearts.
Before you take the deep dive of
empathic and Emotional Intelligence concepts, you must understand that human
psychology is complex in its nature. Every soul on earth is unique; its
uniqueness is dependent on several social, personal, financial and familial and
circumstantial factors. Hence in order to understand the emotions of someone
the above mentioned baselines have to be remembered all the times because this
will prevent you imposing your personal thoughts and conclusion on someone for
any given situation and hence helps you understand their unique perspective.
Now that you have concrete
understanding on above concept, learn below techniques to build and enhance
your empathic skills:
Put
yourself in their shoes: Involve yourself deeply in the situation in which
the person is trapped. Try to evaluate/quantify the level of stress the person
is in. Ask questions to understand more but remember not to bombard the person
with so many questions as you might cause more stress adding fuel to the fire.
Learn the concept "Seek First to understand then to be understood"®
by Stephen R Covey
Develop
Strong Observatory Skills: Observing
behaviors is the most important expertise while developing empathic skills.
During the conversations try to read the person's mind however avoid instant
judgment and conclusion. Be fair and slow in judging people. Avoid being
reactive or explosive. Constantly observe the person during your conversation
and try to find the most important 'point of concern' which matters the most to
the person. This will help understand the problem deeply and might also help
you reaching the root of the issue.
Develop
Analytical Skills:
Analysis means to consider the situation from different angles and reaching to
the root of the problem. This involves considering financial, technical,
emotional, professional, logical and mental aspects of the situation. Also
sometimes analytical skills require you to breakdown the given problem into
smaller problems and then focus on the solution to each problem
separately.
Handling
the situation:
Think what would you and how would you do if trapped in such tragic situation.
Think if the person can follow the same methodology to fix the problem?
Remember, every soul is unique so you must examine it according to the nature
of the person and the circumstance the person is in. For example, you would
handle a rich person trapped in the debt differently as compared to a poor
person and differently for educated and less educated persons.
Effective
Communication:
Nearly all other skills are dependent on your Effective Communication skills.
No matter how genius you are, you won't add value if you fail to express
yourself properly and effectively. You can read my article on how to improve
your Communication skills.
Follow
up:
Don't leave the person alone once you have helped by either giving advice or by
fixing the problem. Follow up after adequate amount of time as the situation might
have aroused again.
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