By Mansi Zaveri
Mansi Zaveri, a true believer in
explore-to-learn, has a rich experience of over 10 years across FMCG, large
format retail, lifestyle, start-ups and digital marketing. She followed her
passion to becoming a mom-entrepreneur leaving behind her corporate life to
start Kids Stop Press.com. The mommy on-the-go also contributes to many leading
webzines and is considered India’s first parenting blogger and starts
conversations that are on top of mind for most parents.
Multiple rules, compartmentalising
your child’s day, hobby classes and tough competition – my mum would brush them
off with ‘we didn’t have all this in our times.’ Whenever my mom notices me
running around from one end of town to the other, or hears my excuses on why I
just can’t find time to call her, she would talk about how easy parenting was
‘back then’. One day, I sat her down and asked her what it was to be a parent
30 years ago, and why our lives as parents are so difficult. Here are 10
fantastic things she shared that shifted my approach to parenting for the
better.
So, mommy says...
1. The rules weren’t bombarded: We never
spelt out the rules to you and just reminded you to take care when you crossed
the line. Today’s parents want to control their children and it makes little
sense.
2. Tiffin-box approach: Don’t
compartmentalise your children’s lives. You fragment their lives into tiny
pieces and expect them to learn everything.
3. Race it up: Don’t rush them into doing
everything. We never rushed you and your life was not dictated by a time table.
In your quest to doing everything, you are rushing through the day leaving no
time for you and your children to enjoy those special moments.
4. Abundance of time: You try and
give your kids everything in abundance except, your time. Kids don’t need
anything if they have you. We were always there for our kids and you have
accomplished so much.
5. Don’t compare: Don’t let milestones and what others say
about your child bog you down. Take it as constructive criticism and move
on. Children feel the pressure of your
expectations.
6. Winners only: Encourage your children to be
the best at what they do and also teach them to accept failure. They need to
learn to deal with failure and victory with the same spirit.
7. Food tantrums: If you have so many tantrums
such as no fried stuff, no sugary foods, no junk and more, then your kids are
bound to voice their opinion too. They learn by observing you and if you don’t
clarify why it’s right to avoid certain foods, they get adamant. This adds to
the fussy eater syndrome. And, I thought just my kids were fussy eaters.
8. Friends and not acquaintances: It’s nice to
meet new people but better to make a few good friends so your kids can form
stronger bonds. We made few friends but
good friends. You are just catching up with people and so are your kids. If
they are meeting new kids each evening, how are they going to establish strong
and everlasting friendships?
9. Barter time: We didn’t give you options to
trade how much time should be spent watching TV so that you could have longer
conversations on the phone. Or, how much greens you must eat so that we could
treat you to chocolates. Don’t be on a constant barter with your kids and say
things as they are.
10. Contentment & confidence: Parenting is
not a race and kids are not athletes who need to be trained to win. We were
content with our lives and that’s the most important thing. If you give into
the competition, you are passing on that feeling of dissatisfaction to your
kids. We were confident of our abilities and didn’t believe that someone else
had better parenting skills that us.
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